Hey everyone !! Hope you all had a fantastic thanksgiving !! I hope you all are enjoying getting ready for Christmas. I cannot believe how fast this year has gone by, for many reasons this time of year isnt my favourite. My father passed away when I was six on november 26th, I got diagnosed with Non-hodgkins lymphoma on Xmas eve so its a little tough to enjoy this time of year but you know me I always make the most of it. I always smile and surround myself with amazing people and remember who and what matters most. Im able to have an amazing holiday surrounded by amazing people such as yourselves :).
Its been a hard year a busy year but always a good one. I stay positive Ive been travelling a lot meeting my fans at conventions, doing lots of photoshoots and interviews and some amazing new projects coming soon AND of course being LIVE on cam at playwithtay with all of you. Im back online daily so make sure you all get your free screenname HERE.
It was my choice on xmas eve to open up to my fans about my cancer. It took me a while to decide. There were a lot of people who suggested i didnt because it may not be appealing or becuase its not a positive thing. I told them that my fans are my friends and I have always been open with you guys about everything I go through. So i opened up to YOU my amazing fans and you are what has helped me get this far what helped me on my low days what kept me smiling on cam on my ok days. I met so many amazing people through this journey and I have NO regrets. I was able to be inspired by and to inspire people that have been touched by cancer, who have fought it, who have beat it !! I will beat it completley one day !!
Back for National lymphoma awareness month I posted part one of a video which is here on my blog to the right it was a very hard video that got an amazing response it was the day I decided to shave my head because chemo was making my hair fall out every single day. It was the most defeating and heartbreaking experience to see my long hair fall out every single day. I decided to take control and shave my head before the cancer took all of my hair. I went to the salon that day and shaved my head. It was empowering.
Heres the hard part Part 2 to let the world see me LIVE with a shaved head was a tough nerve-racking decision. Im a model, for me to see myself like that was hard so I was worried that people may not want to see me like that. But soooo many of you insipired me to embrace it. I have beautiful wigs that i use and love but i also rocked it like this too. My dad who passed when I was 6 I have his will and his courage and his strength and most importantly his heart inspired me. The anniversary of his death was nov 26th i never forget becuase he is so much a part of me but im ok with it. He is with me. My point is this second half, was really hard for me maybe thats why it took so long. But I feel that im HUMAN. My fans love me for me sure I have big bouncy boobies (which i love btw lol) but I relate to so many of you on so many different levels. So thank you for giving me the courage to post myself at one of the most vulnerable and intimate moments of my life. I love you guys so so much.
My hair is growing back slowly since I stopped radiation. Hopefully i can have my own natural beautiful long hair again but im rocking it anyways 🙂 Im moving forward. Im fighting. One day there will be a yaaay im cancer free for good vid. I know this. I was going great for a while felt great felt like normal again, last month had a bit of a setback I need to not be so stressed out and to find time to relax. I dont know what relax means since i am so busy. But I am positive and I am so blessed to have amazing and loving fans like you. TY for allowing me to feel beautiful. Ty to my close friends you know who you are who have made me feel nothing but amazing, who have supported me, seen my pain, seen my hapiness and lifted me up.
Now, this isnt a sad video this is a video of me just being real with my fans. In all honesty im really nervous about it but Im glad im putting it out there. If you find me unattractive as a result ( i look different now) but Im the same loving giving person with hair or without then that would be your choice. We are all beautiful.
Now lovebugs, IM LIVE on CAM use this special link HERE and get your free screenname and join me in video because NOTHING stops me from boobie bouncing and having a shit ton of fun. You all KNOW that lol :).
Love you guys soo much.
Here it is, say what you want, call me ugly, call me what you want. Im human Im real. This is me. I know there are a lot of people suffering an going through this or know someone who is and I hope to help in any way i know how.